How You Make Me Feel
by NuttyScribbler
Summary: Serena writes a love confession. Darien reads it. Utter waffy-ness ensues.
1. Default Chapter

ALL STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY TO THE ENTIRE STORY.  
  
- I - I took out a sheet of paper from my folder. It's pink and it has some very cute bunnies at the border. I know some people thinks it is very childish, and it is hardly the proper stationary to use when writing a letter to the guy I love.  
  
Especially when that guy is Darien shields.  
  
Nevertheless, Serena Taylor will not make excuses anymore. There are certain things a girl needs to do. Slowly, almost reluctantly, I pick up the pen and started to write.  
  
- II - Dear Darien,  
  
I doubt you'll ever read this letter. I don't even know why I am writing. I do know it's a letter that you'll never read, and in turn I'll never get a reply.  
  
But I need to get it all out of my system.  
  
And I don't even know how to start.  
  
I want to scream, to rant, or just break down and cry. There are times I'm torn between strangling you and kissing you. And it hurts - it hurts badly. It hurts so bad, it's all I can do not to break down and cry in front of you.  
  
I think I may have fallen in love with you.  
  
It's so laudable. I've never even liked you to start with. To me, you were always such an upright prig - so old-fashioned. I couldn't stand it. I hated your principles.  
  
It's difficult - to see you everyday and to keep my distance away from you. Oh Lord, how I hate the way you get on my nerves! It's like you feed on my anger.  
  
It made me angry. It was as though you treated me as some sort of amusement. Something you can vent your frustrations on because you're just too bloody nice to vent it on anyone else. Well, for your information, I HATE IT! What makes you think I'm different from other people, that I can take your barbs all so well?  
  
And I'm not stupid! I just don't like figures! What's wrong with that? I know you adore physics and you want to be a great doctor of some sort. But I hate them! Seeing formulas just makes my stomach churn and makes me want to gag. It isn't that I don't try - it's just that I can't stand of going through everything in a mannerly order.  
  
But that's just you isn't it? Orderly - not a hair out of place. It's like you have your whole life planned ahead of you. You get up in the morning, shower, and change into your black turtleneck and that totally hideous vomit-green jacket and you start your day. You want to finish med-school before you turn 25, married by 30 and settle down with kids by 33 (I think).  
  
Well, I'm not like you! I need challenges, the zest in life - try new things, meet new people and gain new experiences. I want people to be able to say, "She lived her life." I don't want people to engrave on my tombstone - here lies Serena Taylor. She was a dead bore.  
  
But you know what? Through these differences, I still found it in my heart to fall in love with you. That even though I hate almost everything about you, from your orderly well planned life right down to you ugly jacket - I can still at the end of the day think of you fondly before I fall asleep.  
  
And it sucks big time because I don't know how you feel about me. Mina said you're reacting to me that way (fighting with me all the time) because you like me and as a member of the male species, you don't know how to react. And you know what? I don't know how to react towards you either! It's difficult in high school and you're snide remarks isn't helping!  
  
But Love can't be shunned, locked away or even be forgotten. Even through the times when I thought that I've forgotten all about you, the memory of you have sunk deep in my heart, where the most treasured memories lie. And it was just a matter of time before you resurface in the deep and stormy sea that is my heart.  
  
Love is such a big word. Excuse me for being romantic, but Love is like the most important thing in the whole world. The universe revolves around it. We wouldn't even have existed if it weren't because of Love. Some people say Love never lives. But I think they are wrong. Maybe it is us that have never lived before.  
  
And I'm telling you here now - I'm in love with you, Darien Shields.  
  
I don't dare tell people how I feel, because I'm scared. I feel like the moron that has fallen in love with the smart genius. I'm afraid that you'll laugh in my face. I feel insecure - because you're so smart and I'm so dumb. My intelligence seems so inferior when I'm around you.  
  
I can't be vivacious like Mina, smart like Amy, determined like Rei, or a half a good cook as Lita. I'm just me, plain old Serena Taylor a.k.a. Meatball Head. I will never be able to understand scientific formulas or talk to you about the latest inventions.  
  
And it hurts because there is such a big gap between us. You'll never tell me how you feel, and I'll never be able to voice out my love for you. My knees just go weak when I see you. Maybe that explains why I keep klutzing out when I'm around you.  
  
Darien Shields - when will you ever tell me what you think of me? Do you even remotely like me for the way I am? Or will I always be the immature dumb blonde in your eyes?  
  
It hurts, Darien. It hurts in a way that you'll never know - because I can't forget you. And every time I look into your eyes, my heart felt as if there's a vice clamped onto it - applying force.  
  
I'm not very brave, Darien. I'm just a girl - whose feelings are going haywire with the sudden arrival of hormones. If you're going to be a doctor, I advise you to cure me first. That way can both get on with our lives? You'll never have seen my meatball styled hair ever again.  
  
I wish you'll just tell me what you think - how you feel. Maybe I'll be able to get on with my life after you tell me that. Either way, I'll feel better. I feel like I'm suffocating now. I know that the pages are filled with my incessant ramblings. Heck! There are so many times in the duration of writing this letter that I've lost my line of thought.  
  
But this is how I feel.  
  
This is how you make me feel.  
  
Serena - III - I put down my pen and wiped away the tears that had somehow fallen from my eyes. One of them ran down my cheek, and dripped onto the paper, smudging the ink.  
  
I have used up four pages from my favorite notepad for this letter. Four pages filled confessions of my innermost feelings.  
  
And now, this is the hardest part.  
  
What am I going to do with it?  
  
End -  
  
Question: What should Serena do with it? If she does send the letter, the story will go on. Or maybe she'll just chicken out and burn it.  
  
Just a short piece that I did after reading a story that was particularly inspiring. Not particularly good in my opinion but do tell me what you think. You can either review or send me a personal mail at ghostwriter15@hotmail.com. 


	2. Darien's Responds

Serena marched resolutely up to The Arcade with the Very Important Letter clutched tightly in her hands. She's going to do it. No more running away. Mina always said that the best way to get over infatuations is to tackle them head on.  
  
But then again, Mina is Mina. Mina is the 'Love Goddess' of their school. Boys practically throw themselves at her feet just to get her to smile at them. She never has to make embarrassing confessions to older guys that act like jerks around her.  
  
She has never fallen for a jerk before.  
  
How can Mina understand?  
  
Breathe, she told herself. The worst that can happen is Darien takes one look at her and laughed himself silly, maybe ruffle your hair a little and tell you to come back in a few years time.  
  
She blanched at the thought.  
  
The automatic doors slid open for her with a woosh. Steeling herself, she walked straight to the counter, where Andrew was wiping some glasses.  
  
"Hey Serena," Andrew greeted his blonde friend warmly. "Want a shake? On the house, this time," he added, knowing she's very broke as it's already the end of the month.  
  
"I'll pass this time," Serena said, lifting her lips to form a smile. It didn't exactly come out right.  
  
"Are you alright?" asked Andrew, concerned. "You don't seem like yourself today."  
  
Of course I'm not myself, Serena wanted to scream. I'm just about to make a total cake of myself in front of the guy I really, really like and you can't help me!  
  
"Yes, I'm fine," she caught herself saying. "I think I'll like that shake after all."  
  
"Sure," Andrew gave her a dazzling smile. Serena sighed, wishing with all her heart that it's Andrew she's going to confess to.  
  
She studied the Very Important Letter. "For: Darien Shields" was typed neatly across the front of the envelope. She thought it might inspire him to take it a little bit more seriously.  
  
And really to negate the effect of the bunny border a little.  
  
"Here you go," Andrew said as he placed a tall glass of frothy strawberry milkshake in front of her.  
  
It's now or never. Drawing a breath, Serena tried to sound nonchalant, "Where's Darien?"  
  
"He'll be in later," Andrew replied, as in came out from behind the counter. Serena slurped up her shake, her mind begin to form possible outcomes of her coming performance.  
  
One: They look at each other before Darien awkwardly tells her he only dates college-age girls.  
  
Two: He tells her he already has a girlfriend and then shows her a photo of a beautiful, classy woman he keeps in his wallet.  
  
Three: He does something unbelievably cruel like laugh at her and tells her she'll get over him, soon – he hopes.  
  
Andrew walked back in, sighing as he flitted through that day's mail. Bills, bills, bills, bills and even more bills. That's all that's ever in the mail these days. What happened to personal correspondence? Love letters from adoring fan girls; he wouldn't mind those. Wait – only Darien gets those. Sighing again, he placed them on the counter (beside the Very Important Letter).  
  
He eyed the blond teen who was staring into space. Really, she wasn't looking good today. In fact, she looks like she's positively going to throw up there and then. Is there something wrong with the shake? Uneasy, he checked the milk's expiry date – nope it's alright.  
  
Baffled, Andrew decided to ask Darien to take a look at Serena later – he knows his dark haired friend cares for the girl more than he is willing to admit.  
  
Speak of the devil, he grinned as the doors whooshed apart to admit the object his thoughts. "Hey man."  
  
Serena came out of her trance when she heard his voice, responding to his friend's greeting. Turning slowly to face him, she stared at his electrifying blue eyes.  
  
Her knees buckled. Snatching up the Very Important Letter, she bolted out of her chair and ran out of The Arcade as though there were monsters at her heels, yelling, "Bye Andrew!" on the way.  
  
"SERENA!" Andrew called out, staring at her disappearing figure. "You took my electricity bill..." he trailed off. What's wrong with her today?  
  
He exchanged looks with Darien, who shrugged before moving to occupy Serena's recently vacated seat.  
  
"There's something wrong with Serena today," Andrew remarked, replacing Serena's half empty glass of shake with a mug of steaming coffee.  
  
"There's something wrong with her, everyday," the dark haired man replied as he lifted the mug and took a swig of the bitter brown liquid. "She most probably flunked another math test. She'll live."  
  
Despite his apparent indifference, Darien was actually quite worried about his meatball-head. He had looked forward the entire week to meeting her; it was a tough week with ugly deadlines for major papers and "chatting" with Serena never failed to help him unwind.  
  
But the minute she saw him, she bolted out of the shop as though he was Jack-the-Ripper.  
  
As he set the mug down, he noticed the white envelope (containing the Very Important Letter ) and picked it up.  
  
"Darien Shields, eh?" he remarked. "That'll be me," he said as he proceeded to open the letter.  
  
The first thing that caught his attention was the bunny border. He then flipped the pages to the end of the letter to read the author's name.  
  
And then, Darien began the read the Very Important Letter.  
  
Serena decided she was a failure. It was bad enough to fall for a smart idiot, but to lack the confidence to even shove a letter into his hands was disgraceful.  
  
She looked at the Very Important Letter.  
  
Only, it wasn't the Very Important Letter.  
  
It had magically transformed into The Arcade's electricity bill.  
  
Serena screamed as turned around and ran all the way back to where she just came from.  
  
"Andrew!" she panted. "Did you see my letter? It's in a white envelope, addressed to Darien. Around this size," she formed a rectangle estimating the size of the envelope.  
  
"And the letter itself is written on four pages of paper with bunny borders," a voice came from behind her. "Very nicely done, if I may say so myself."  
  
Serena's heart sank as she turned back.  
  
Darien Shields stood before her, trying hard not to smile while waving the Very Important Letter in front of her face. "This letter, perhaps?"  
  
She wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole.  
  
"We need to talk," Darien said, suddenly turning serious. "Andrew?" he looked at his friend questioningly.  
  
Andrew nodded. "Back room," he said, tossing the keys to Darien. He caught them with ease. Serena allowed herself to be guided to be the back.  
  
He was going to refuse her. At least he has the decency to protect her pride.  
  
(A/N: I don't think it's a move to protect her reputation, thought.)  
  
Darien ushered her into the back room closed the door behind them.  
  
"Serena?" Darien asked tentatively. The blond haired girl had suddenly looked very sick but there was an air of resolve about her.  
  
"Sit," he commanded, and her knees gave way as she sank on to the up-ended bucket.  
  
He cleared his throat, searching for the right words, "I certainly find this letter..."  
  
A string of words ran through Serena's mind all at once. They include stupid, ridiculous, preposterous, ludicrous, laughable and absurd.  
  
"...enlightening," Darien finished.  
  
Serena widened her eyes and lifted her head to look at him in open astonishment. Perhaps, he has decided to let her down gently.  
  
"Let's get this over with?"  
  
"Get what over?" Darien asked, slightly confused.  
  
"You're nice and all, Darien. I can take it. I know what you're going to say," Serena continued.  
  
"You do?" Darien asked, surprised.  
  
"Yes, you're going to tell me that you don't like me. I understand. I'm not that dense you know," Serena said stonily, looking dejectedly at the floor. To think of it is one thing, to say it out was certainly much more painful.  
  
Darien felt his lips quirk involuntarily before lowering himself on one knee in front of her. Placing his fingers under his chin, he lifted her head up to face him and stared at her gravely.  
  
"I'm afraid you're wrong about that," he said gently. Confusion clouded her limpid blue eyes. "I am?"  
  
He nodded. "And, I need to tell you how I feel, too," he confessed. "About the letter... about you..."  
  
"Oh." That was all she could say.  
  
"Yes," he continued, in the same grave tone as he took off his jacket and produced a lighter from his pocket. Still confused, Serena could only watch as he placed the flame against the material, allowing the green garment to catch fire.  
  
Finally coming out of her stupor, Serena at once snatched the normally offensive garment out of his hands and threw it on the floor, stamping out the flames. "What were you thinking?!" She screamed at him.  
  
Darien drew her closed to him, so closed that she can feel the steady beating of his heart, and linked his hands behind her, imprisoning her. "I think," he said, almost breathlessly, "that we've been thinking too much and talking too little."  
  
Her eyes widened as he continued, "I'm sorry I hurt you with all the teasing. I just can't help it. I just wanted your attention, and I reacted childishly to get it."  
  
"And you don't have to be smart like Rei or a good cook like Lita. You should just be yourself, because you're most beautiful when you're yourself," he said tenderly. "I did have my life planned out ahead of me but everything changed when I met you. Right now, I plan to spend my life loving you. You can plan the rest. Where we live, how many kids we have, what their names will be, what we'll do for the rest of our lives down to what I wear each day. If you don't like my jacket, I won't wear it," he said, nudging the green pool of charred cloth at their feet. "  
  
"I can't cure you of love because I'm inflicted by it. I'm scared of love too. I've never loved, been loved or in love till I met you. I don't know if I'm good at it, but I'll try my best because you only deserve the best. And I want to live. And I wouldn't have lived till I've loved, right?"  
  
"And when you're torn between strangling me and kissing me, I would prefer if you chose the latter," he added mischievously.  
  
"Kiss you?" Serena asked blankly. This whole experience seems so surreal that she can hardly bring herself to believe it.  
  
"Yes, kiss – like this," Darien replied before he captured her lips in a searing kiss.  
  
It was a kiss like no other. A boy had tried to kiss her once, and frankly, she found it disgusting. Heck, she found the boy disgusting with his sloppy tongue trying to invade her mouth and fumbling hands.  
  
She tried again with another boy a few months later, deciding to give kissing a second and final chance. It was worst. Although this boy was much better at the activity than the first, he was really perverted and tried to place his hands in places it had no business with.  
  
After those experience, she decided that kissing – French kissing in particular – was overrated and she vowed she never want to ever join lips with another male again.  
  
But kissing Darien's different. It was deeply sensual and most enjoyable. Her knees had given way long ago, and she was entirely dependant on him for support now; her hands were linked around his neck and one of his arms around her waist, holding her upright. His other hand was stroking her cheek and guiding her head into a better position so that he can deepen his kiss.  
  
Soon, he wasn't kissing her mouth only but was sucking and nipping the delicate skin of her throat lightly. Moaning, Serena wondered how she to explain the hickey to her over-possessive father was.  
  
"Wow," she whispered when they finally broke apart. "That was incredible. All my other kisses were terrible," she murmured absently.  
  
"Other kisses? What other kisses?" Darien demanded, glaring at her with eyes darkened with passion. She looked utterly ravishing with tendrils of gold locks sticking to her pink cheeks and her lips swollen from his kiss. The though of another man laying his lips on that rosebud mouth of hers. "How many kisses were there prior to this?"  
  
"None," Serena answered slowly, somehow wary of the glint in his eyes.  
  
"Serena..."  
  
"One, maybe two," Serena changed her answer hastily. "At the most: three."  
  
Darien breathed in deeply and tried to reason with himself. They weren't together than, so he can't blame her for kissing other guys.  
  
And they aren't exactly together now. Something that Darien plans to remedy expediently.  
  
"There will be no more kissing other guys from now onwards," he declared possessively. "If there is any kissing to be done, it will be done by me."  
  
"Hey! I can kiss whom I like. From the way you were kissing, I can only conclude that you have a wealth of experience in this area gained by kissing other women!" Serena blasted back heatedly. Who is he to decide who she can kiss and can't kiss? It's so galling until she feels like walking right out there and kiss the first guy she bumps into.  
  
"Touche," Darien smirked, blissfully unaware of her line of thought. "You can kiss who you like and that's me. That's what you told me in the letter there."  
  
Serena groaned inwardly; she knew the letter will come back and haunt her one day, but she didn't expect it to be so soon.  
  
"Don't worry," Darien murmured huskily, drawing her closer still (if that is altogether possible). "I'll make sure you like kissing me." With that, he once more lowered his lips onto hers.  
  
After what seem what seemed to be an eternity, they resurfaced from the maelstrom of passion and found themselves grasping for breath. Lowering both of them onto the floor, Darien leaned back against the door and pulled Serena onto her lap, breathing in the fragrance of her hair.  
  
Serena busied herself playing with his hands. They were very big compared to hers and she had discovered that they can incite immense pleasure, too. "Never in my wildest dreams did I think this will happen," she told him softly.  
  
"Me too, Meatball-head."  
  
Turning her head slightly, she glared at him, "If you persist in calling me that name, I'll make sure that there will be no more kisses for you." She was beginning to revel in the power she possessed over him; Serena already knows he will be most unhappy if she denies him her kisses. He enjoys it every bit as much as she does.  
  
Darien thought for a moment, "Then I shall call you Usako."  
  
His blonde goddess wrinkled her dainty nose, "What does that mean?"  
  
"It means 'my bunny'," Darien explained, "I was inspired by your bunny stationary."  
  
"I guess it sounds way better than 'Meatball-head'," Serena accepted his decision grudgingly. Secretly, she was overjoyed – his bunny. It sounded so intimate.  
  
They sat there in silence for a while, Serena resting her head against his chest and listening to the steady beating of his heart.  
  
"You didn't have to burn your jacket – it isn't really that repulsive. And more importantly, you like it, don't you?"  
  
"I'm glad you don't mind it," Darien said, grinning wickedly at her, "Because I have an entire closet of the same jacket at home."  
  
Serena looked up at him to check if he was joking. The thought of opening his wardrobe and see it filled with those jackets in that hideous green horrified her.  
  
Darien smiled at her dismay and kissed her again.  
  
She decided that there are worst things in life than ugly green jackets.  
  
owari  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Done – tada. Bowing to positive response from you guys out there, I've finished this fic off with a definitely happy ending. Like it? Hate it? Review to tell me!  
  
The fic originally started off as a one shot, more of a vignette. However, I've received so many reviews asking for me to finish, I've decided to give Serena and Darien a happy ending both they and you all deserve.  
  
Heck, if I can't have a fairytale romance in life, I want a fairytale ending for my stories.  
  
Tata!  
  
Loff! Jess www.nuttyscribbler.blogspot.com 


End file.
